Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness, they say, is a state of mind. Meaning: it is something that is borne out of our own attitude and stream of thoughts. Also, meaning that there need not be a specific ground or a reason to happiness. Happiness just happens! Yes, I am stating the obvious. However having said that, time and again, each one of us wander around in pursuit of happiness.

And often fail, disheartened.

When I wrote my first blog post, I mentioned how I have always wanted to head to Marine drive by myself and give words to my thoughts. No, I sadly did not write this by the sea. However, I did finally make a forlorn trip there and sat gazing at the vast blue-ness amidst the bustling city.

While leisurely flipping through the pages of my novel, I thought how irrespective of the number of friends we have or the many people we can talk to, we all could do with a little Me-time. No, I still believe that we all need someone who would listen to us. But that fact put aside, sometimes, just sometimes, we need no questions asked and none answered. Sometimes, I guess, it’s okay to want more than sympathy and empathy. What is that more, I do not know. ‘Cause when I phase through these “sometimes”, I choose to leave my thoughts unattended. It helps.

I am being so overtly philosophical that I don’t completely comprehend my own philosophy. Is this what boredom does to us? Or maybe it’s the weather. Either ways, I think I need a new phase now. Being in one for too long is depressing.

Anyway coming back to happiness, its pursuit will never end. It will only shift from one to another: it can mean better grades to some or even reading a good book to others. However, like a Buddhist or Guru will tell you, we can be happy regardless of what we have or what we are doing.

"If you are to be happy at all, you must be happy – period! Not happy because of."  :) 

Clicked by my sister last year. It evokes warm feelings. 

Here Comes Goodbye

In the last 56 days, I have been impeached more than a few times of being sluggish, dormant, an insomniac one day and a narcoleptic the other. Sigh. However, here I am, up and fresh in the early hours on my last day at home.

Things haven’t changed much since I got here. June already and I still savor the cold rainy days and warm baths. Dad continues to watch WWE every night, although without my company these days. No more violence for me. Peace.

Just two nights back, mom again freaked out when it thundered all night. She just wouldn’t get used to it.

Oh and my little parrot, he has only gotten cuter. He now responds with a woof every time I call him by his name. He has done my parents a favor by not chewing the wires anymore, and has instead shifted his energy on punching holes in my T shirts. Additionally, he has learnt to make chicken noises, eat chocolates, run away from cockroaches and wake me up from sleep. How I wish I could slip him inside my pocket and sneak him into the flight with me.

Anyway, I am trying to list down adjectives to summarise this much needed vacation, but in vain. Even though I did not travel to some place exotic or wild, I did have fun. I had fun singing along songs with one of my best friends in Hard Rock Café and eating bagel on a Sunday afternoon with another. I was happy sitting on the porch swing when it rained, and happier listening to mom and dad share their many anecdotes. I did crib (who doesn’t?), but I was more than content reading a book cuddled under the blanket; content, during the many road trips.

I could go on, but I presume I won’t be putting across my feelings right if I do so. Thus, I think I rather go and collect more memories while I can in the 24 hours that I have here.

(Anything other than picking up my stuff from amidst all the meant-to-be-there things in the house should do me some good. Packing depresses me like nothing else does. Hence, I save it for the extreme end. )

Well like always, I’ll bank the utter sadness for the flight and the lump in my throat while saying goodbye, will go unnoticed. Mom will be teary-eyed and Dad will continue to smile.

Except this time, I’ll definitely miss home a little more than I usually do.  

Somewhere Past the Setting Sun

From where I am sitting, I can see the orange hued sky, listen to the slowly dwindling chirps of the birds, and feel the warm rays of the sinking sun soak my face. It’s a beautiful world.

 Inside my head, however is a bedlam. I am not angry but perturbed, not miserable but let down. The implausibility of life has caught me off guard, yet again. They say, don’t expect or you’ll be malcontent; be practical, or you’ll be hurt. I wonder, how human are we if not for emotions; how human without faith and hope?

And when I try to figure out the complexities of the complex world, I have no answer, no conclusion. If only life was simpler. If only.

  

Please don't judge me by my Photography. I am an amateur. These are two shots from my first attempt at photography with the new digital camera that I lately got my hands on.