“Sometimes we love with
nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears. In the
end that's all there is. Love & its duty, sorrow & its truth. In the
end that's all we have - to hold on tight until the dawn.”
It was nine
years ago that I first went to boarding school. It was the first time that I
was left amidst strangers, left to build some trust and comfort amidst the
sudden queerness. During those first few days, I remember wondering what I had
done to deserve the different sort of schooling and upbringing that I was being
subjected to. I remember wondering why I couldn't have continued to
be one of those kids who could just get home and watch TV and study whenever
they feel like and sleep in their own rooms on their own beds. The reasons were
clear, but somehow they didn't seem reason enough back then.
Nine years
hence, I have realized that the same doubt-and-empathy theory is put to
application in every situation of our lives every day, connecting us to the
people that we tend to call friends (more so, for the lack of a better word).
Sometimes, I think it’s rather sadistic to presume that relationships work that
way. Perhaps, they just begin that way and last for different reasons later on,
while others end for the lack of one.
I don’t know
where I am heading with this piece of writing. But on days like today, which
are often, when I am by myself in my room with technology fulfilling my need
for company, I begin to understand the importance of things. Of small
conversations with people we don’t know too well; of letters that we don’t read
often and again, but don’t throw away anyway; of those fights that happened
‘cause we cared too much; of those versions of ourselves that we have now
outgrown enough to be embarrassed of; and of those little things that get us
through the blues.
No matter what
people say about being practical and not expecting in this tough world, I think
I am glad I still continue to feel emotions that make me weep sometimes.
